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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
July 24, 2007
the officious uterus by ~rian101 - A very funny poem filled with hilarious twists and turns. Just don't take it too seriously; that would be funniest of all.
Featured by GunShyMartyr
Literature Text
"get intimate with my uterus," she says
and i'm slowly backing away towards the door,
"because it's really about You and Us;
it's true, there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it."
i can't believe she's actually saying this,
summoning post-feminist bumper-sticker wit,
trying to draw me in with cheap vaginal advertising.
she'd already knit a pink yarn uterus and airmailed it,
enclosed a hand-written card in the package -
"My heart pines for you,
my no-no place bleeds for you."
once a month, every month, usually around a full moon,
she tries to pull this silliness like a tampon string
and i'm repeatedly convinced she's crazy.
so i called her the next evening and said
"sorry, darling, but i'm not ready for this
sort of commitment, not to you or your Uterus,
so i guess it's just You, not Us, for now.
but i'm still willing to be friends."
-click-
and i'm slowly backing away towards the door,
"because it's really about You and Us;
it's true, there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it."
i can't believe she's actually saying this,
summoning post-feminist bumper-sticker wit,
trying to draw me in with cheap vaginal advertising.
she'd already knit a pink yarn uterus and airmailed it,
enclosed a hand-written card in the package -
"My heart pines for you,
my no-no place bleeds for you."
once a month, every month, usually around a full moon,
she tries to pull this silliness like a tampon string
and i'm repeatedly convinced she's crazy.
so i called her the next evening and said
"sorry, darling, but i'm not ready for this
sort of commitment, not to you or your Uterus,
so i guess it's just You, not Us, for now.
but i'm still willing to be friends."
-click-
Literature
Out of Control
It's 6:46 and thirty-one seconds when the doorbell rings. My mom runs to answer it.
"Hi, Michelle!" I hear my mom call. It's my sister. She left her college friends to have dinner with us tonight.
I have four minutes before I can go out and greet her. I can only walk through doors when the number of minutes is divisible by five. 6:46 and fifty-nine seconds. Not happening.
It's the killer of what could be an okay life. I'm late for class all the time when I'm at school. A teacher will let me out at 1:50 exactly. I walk through the hallways in a straight line, starting with my right foot, ending with my left. I reach the door,
Literature
Teachers to the Dead
While we slept,
you strapped your arm around
my chest like armor and possession,
like this one belongs to me. Together, we are
teaching the things that haunt us
to lie down in their graves.
Here, like this
your demons say to mine as
they demonstrate the art of behaving.
Together, we secure their
broken bodies and set them into six feet of
downward motion.
(but we do not follow
we cannot go in their stead)
They do not know theyre dead. Its
always a blow when we break the news.
They find themselves jealous of our
human skin and our inhaling
exhal
Literature
Our Issues
Your heart grew up in a black wooden box
and thought it fabulous,
its world of
right angles,
wood grain,
and eternal night.
It hated me when I bored the hole
that let the sun singe its eyes, cook its skin,
when rain collected the dirt on its skin
in a puddle beneath its feet and said:
"look how dirty you are, foul thing."
It hated and
hated and
still hates,
always crawling
under any
box it finds.
I kicked it
out of its hiding place.
It ran out howling, hating and being
ha
Suggested Collections
yeah. *long draw from an imaginary cigeratte* totally.
© 2005 - 2024 rian101
Comments108
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very good